I enjoyed the challenges of being a stay at home mom. Contrary to what some think it is one of the most challenging things I’ve done. It takes inner strength to stay motivated and in order to be self directed and to stay on track with the hundreds of little things that need to be done.
As with any mother, stay at home or working, it takes organization to run the small things of a household and stay on track. Being organized is great; it saves time, money and worry. Yet in trying to control life with our organization we sometimes feel that we are in control much more than we truly are. We feel a sense of power in that control and then with that, pride.
I got so busy trying to be the perfect wife and mother and Christian that I began to put myself on a pedestal. I began to get a little big for my britches. I thought I had it all together and knew how things worked. I volunteered at our church, spent many hours teaching, planning and working with all things “church.” My thoughts were consumed with these things. Not bad things to be consumed with in themselves but I wanted to be perfect. I was having pride in my abilities and my life. Pride in my ‘goodness.’
Galations 3:10 “all who rely on observing the law are under a curse..” Do you think it is possible that religious people are cursed? They concentrate so hard on DOING that they miss so much in just BEING in Christ. They are trying to live up to what they think make them be or at least look perfect. I believe I did. I believe I’ve seen others live this life of trying to DO all the right things instead of BE the right thing. Also I’ve seen now how uncomfortable it makes others who aren’t in that position of trying to DO. Especially people who need love the most; those in need of the unconditional love of Christ are put off by our push to Do it all.
Jesus gave the two most important commandments as Love the Lord your God, and Love your neighbor as yourself. Perhaps if we could just BE in this love relationship, the other things would come without the struggle without the focus on them. Perhaps also, the people who need love the most might could feel loved by the ‘real-ness’ of people just BEING in Christ.
I believe we get trapped in trying to live the perfect life, or at least what looks like it, and God and HIS grace gets shoved out of the picture. Maybe we should almost celebrate our inefficiencies and shortcomings because they remind us that we need him that our focus should be on HIM. Of course we don't want to draw attention to ourselves, only to Him.
Gal 5:2 “If you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all…”
This is not in any way to say we are just to live as we please. But I believe we need to live in a way that is not about us. Not about self in anyway, especially not about how good we are and can be. Instead our lives should show how good God’s grace is and how He loves. This kind of life would create a desire in others to know this love instead of a fear and dread of the ‘religious’ folks ‘goodness.’
I’m not sure what Leonard Cohen’s beliefs are but this poem fits perfectly with my thoughts.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me.
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